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Friday, October 03, 2003
*Minnesota at Atlanta (+4)
Are we willing to admit the Falcons aren’t a very good team without vick? There isn’t a team in the league that relies so much on one player, and it just hurts to watch right now. MINN
*Cincinnati at Buffalo (-8)
The Bills are a 2-2 team and have scored one TD in two weeks. And they are favored by eight? CINCY
New Orleans at Carolina (-7)
This Carolina team will probably keep winning, but they are doing it with a bad offense and terrific special teams. That means lots of close games. Even against the Saints. NO
*Oakland at Chicago (-4.5)
It’s lines like these that make me wonder if anyone actually pays attention. Who on earth is betting on the Bears at this price? OAK
Arizona at Dallas (-7)
Let’s not lose focus here. Both teams stink. Just take the home team and hope it turns out okay. DALLAS
*Seattle at Green Bay (-2)
Who on earth is betting against Seattle right now? I can get an undefeated team as a dog in Week Five? SEATTLE
*Denver at Kansas City (-3)
The worst line of the week. The Chiefs should be ashamed of themselves if they don’t rip the Broncos by at least 14.
Tennessee at New England (+1)
I’m not very high on the Patriots, and unless you’re betting on injuries, I wouldn’t take the Pats right now in any play. TENN
Miami at NY Giants (pick)
I still think the Giants are overrated because the media… oh, sorry. Caught myself there. MIAMI
San Diego at Jacksonville (-3)
Both teams are underwhelming, but I invoke a new rule: when in doubt, bet against the rookie QB. SD
Washington at Philadelphia (-5.5)
I don’t think the McNabb controversy affects anybody. I just think the Skins win because the Eagles still haven’t committed to their run game. WASH
Detroit at San Francisco (-7)
I can’t imagine Mooch letting his team lose this game. DETROIT
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-7)
Out of curiosity, do you think the Steelers management gets out of bed every day and thanks God that they are in such a piece of crap division? PITT
Indianapolis at Tampa (-4)
The Colts wait until the postseason to suck. This game just doesn’t have the same meaning to Tampa. INDY
Are we willing to admit the Falcons aren’t a very good team without vick? There isn’t a team in the league that relies so much on one player, and it just hurts to watch right now. MINN
*Cincinnati at Buffalo (-8)
The Bills are a 2-2 team and have scored one TD in two weeks. And they are favored by eight? CINCY
New Orleans at Carolina (-7)
This Carolina team will probably keep winning, but they are doing it with a bad offense and terrific special teams. That means lots of close games. Even against the Saints. NO
*Oakland at Chicago (-4.5)
It’s lines like these that make me wonder if anyone actually pays attention. Who on earth is betting on the Bears at this price? OAK
Arizona at Dallas (-7)
Let’s not lose focus here. Both teams stink. Just take the home team and hope it turns out okay. DALLAS
*Seattle at Green Bay (-2)
Who on earth is betting against Seattle right now? I can get an undefeated team as a dog in Week Five? SEATTLE
*Denver at Kansas City (-3)
The worst line of the week. The Chiefs should be ashamed of themselves if they don’t rip the Broncos by at least 14.
Tennessee at New England (+1)
I’m not very high on the Patriots, and unless you’re betting on injuries, I wouldn’t take the Pats right now in any play. TENN
Miami at NY Giants (pick)
I still think the Giants are overrated because the media… oh, sorry. Caught myself there. MIAMI
San Diego at Jacksonville (-3)
Both teams are underwhelming, but I invoke a new rule: when in doubt, bet against the rookie QB. SD
Washington at Philadelphia (-5.5)
I don’t think the McNabb controversy affects anybody. I just think the Skins win because the Eagles still haven’t committed to their run game. WASH
Detroit at San Francisco (-7)
I can’t imagine Mooch letting his team lose this game. DETROIT
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (-7)
Out of curiosity, do you think the Steelers management gets out of bed every day and thanks God that they are in such a piece of crap division? PITT
Indianapolis at Tampa (-4)
The Colts wait until the postseason to suck. This game just doesn’t have the same meaning to Tampa. INDY
Fr. Mushroom’s Pigskin Picks
Well, I’ve made a decision. Once again, we went undefeated in the college games last week, 3-0, making us 5-0 against the spread the last two weeks. But had you taken my pro plays, you’d have given all that hard-earned cash back. SO, from now on we here at Vatican North are focusing on the college game and letting the MUCH wiser pro spy Stephen, the fine editor of Bartcop Sports, deal with the pros (ed note- Hey! Thanks! I've only picked one week of pros and did quite well. I like to sit the early ones out to get a read on teams). As you can imagine, a holy person like myself would have very little knowledge of “pros” anyway. Who’s that laughing in the back pew? I heard that! Bart, is that you? To the nunnery…
Minnesota –10.5 @ Northwestern. If the Mildcats have 20K at the game I’ll go into a Tres’ Generone’s-induced stupor. Do you think the good folks of Chicago will be focused on the Cubs this weekend or NW-Minnesota game? Hmmmm. This one is a joke, a runaway. MN proved they can hang with the semi-big boys on the road beating Penn State last week. Layup—Minnesota 55 Northwestern 20.
Kent State –2.5 vs. Ball State. Ball State is one of the lesser teams in the MAC, and Kent is rebounding nicely. One of our favorite liberal schools—final: Kent State 27 Ball State 14.
Texas-6 vs. Kansas State. Koresh, I can’t stand KSU Coach Bill Snyder…he once said, after a loss, that “this was as tough as losing a child.” WHAT? It’s a FUCKING FOOTBALL GAME FOR CHRISSAKE! With a sense of proportion like that, he’s got to be a GOPer, don’t you think? Mention Clinton and he goes into a gran’ malle’ seizure. I’m still making up for my Bush-going-to-Texas gaff…Final from Austin (within and outside of the City Limits) Texas 49 KSU 21.
USC-11.5 vs. Arizona State. Arizona State, just like Arizona, in every sport, is overrated. No different this year. Plus USC is hopping mad after last weeks goofy OT loss to Cal-Berkeley. I want USC to win just so they can buy those cute cheerleader girls some sweaters that cover their tummies. How embarrassing for them, don’t you think? Every time they raise their arms, their tummies show. Poor kids. Final from California: USC 33 Arizona State 9.
New Mexico –14 vs. Utah State. Take your pick—would you rather go to an outdoor art festival in Taos, or see some 40 year old guy marry a 12 year old girl and make her his sixth wife? And NO BOOZE at the reception. New Mex has been a nice surprise this season. Final: New Mexico 40 Utah State7.
New Mexico State –11 vs. Idaho. Take your pick—would you rather spend a weekend at a quaint Pueblo bed-and-breakfast, or be liberal target practice for some neo-Nazi militia man with a 30-caliber Thompson in the Idaho panhandle during the “Heinrich HImmler Days” autumn festival? I thought so. New Mexico State 39 Idaho 13.
That’s all for this week, my children. See you in Church. Make it the early Mass, so we can be home in time to hear more cultural anthropology by Prof. Limbaugh on ESPN.
Peace,
Fr. Mushroom
Well, I’ve made a decision. Once again, we went undefeated in the college games last week, 3-0, making us 5-0 against the spread the last two weeks. But had you taken my pro plays, you’d have given all that hard-earned cash back. SO, from now on we here at Vatican North are focusing on the college game and letting the MUCH wiser pro spy Stephen, the fine editor of Bartcop Sports, deal with the pros (ed note- Hey! Thanks! I've only picked one week of pros and did quite well. I like to sit the early ones out to get a read on teams). As you can imagine, a holy person like myself would have very little knowledge of “pros” anyway. Who’s that laughing in the back pew? I heard that! Bart, is that you? To the nunnery…
Minnesota –10.5 @ Northwestern. If the Mildcats have 20K at the game I’ll go into a Tres’ Generone’s-induced stupor. Do you think the good folks of Chicago will be focused on the Cubs this weekend or NW-Minnesota game? Hmmmm. This one is a joke, a runaway. MN proved they can hang with the semi-big boys on the road beating Penn State last week. Layup—Minnesota 55 Northwestern 20.
Kent State –2.5 vs. Ball State. Ball State is one of the lesser teams in the MAC, and Kent is rebounding nicely. One of our favorite liberal schools—final: Kent State 27 Ball State 14.
Texas-6 vs. Kansas State. Koresh, I can’t stand KSU Coach Bill Snyder…he once said, after a loss, that “this was as tough as losing a child.” WHAT? It’s a FUCKING FOOTBALL GAME FOR CHRISSAKE! With a sense of proportion like that, he’s got to be a GOPer, don’t you think? Mention Clinton and he goes into a gran’ malle’ seizure. I’m still making up for my Bush-going-to-Texas gaff…Final from Austin (within and outside of the City Limits) Texas 49 KSU 21.
USC-11.5 vs. Arizona State. Arizona State, just like Arizona, in every sport, is overrated. No different this year. Plus USC is hopping mad after last weeks goofy OT loss to Cal-Berkeley. I want USC to win just so they can buy those cute cheerleader girls some sweaters that cover their tummies. How embarrassing for them, don’t you think? Every time they raise their arms, their tummies show. Poor kids. Final from California: USC 33 Arizona State 9.
New Mexico –14 vs. Utah State. Take your pick—would you rather go to an outdoor art festival in Taos, or see some 40 year old guy marry a 12 year old girl and make her his sixth wife? And NO BOOZE at the reception. New Mex has been a nice surprise this season. Final: New Mexico 40 Utah State7.
New Mexico State –11 vs. Idaho. Take your pick—would you rather spend a weekend at a quaint Pueblo bed-and-breakfast, or be liberal target practice for some neo-Nazi militia man with a 30-caliber Thompson in the Idaho panhandle during the “Heinrich HImmler Days” autumn festival? I thought so. New Mexico State 39 Idaho 13.
That’s all for this week, my children. See you in Church. Make it the early Mass, so we can be home in time to hear more cultural anthropology by Prof. Limbaugh on ESPN.
Peace,
Fr. Mushroom
Strange week last week. 13-16 overall, but 4-1 in spotlight games. Bizarre.
Air Force at Navy (+14)
Navy got blown out by Rutgers. That’s a generous line. AFA
Alabama at Georgia (-11)
Bama’s played everyone tough and lok like a hard team to blowout. Even for the Dawgs. BAMA
Arizona at Washington State (-27.5)
Arizona showed some life last week. They get booted back to reality here. WAZZU
Boise State at Louisiana Tech (+6.5)
Two great QB’s, lots of offense. Should be a fun game to watch and a real tough one to pick. Take Boise and pray. BSU
BYU at San Diego State (+1)
SDSU played great against Ohio St. But one game does not a season make. BYU
Clemson at Maryland (-6.5)
It’s becoming an annual thing in College Park. Lose early and then win out. MD
*Fresno State at Colorado State (-6.5)
People, CSU is 2-3. They have done nothing to justify six and half points over a good Fresno team. FSU
Illinois at Purdue (-14)
The Bowling Green loss doesn’t look so bad now, does it? PURDUE
Indiana at Michigan State (-15)
The Hoosiers are not very good. The Spartans should cover easily. MSU
Kansas State at Texas (-6)
I can’t abandon my preseason pick so easily. KSU
Michigan at Iowa (+3)
Interesting matchup. It’s time for Michigan to get serious about winning the big Ten. Their season isn’t over yet. MICH
Minnesota at Northwestern (+11)
Remember Northwestern’s brief rise as a Big Ten power? That was fun. Nice memories. MINN
*NC State at Georgia Tech (+6.5)
After a slow start, the Pack is clicking. Tech is not. NCSU
Oklahoma at Iowa State (-21)
The Sooners look like they are on a mission right now. OU
Ole Miss at Florida (-13)
Florida’s been unreliable, but not as unreliable as the Rebels. UF
Oregon at Utah (+2.5)
One game, people! The Ducks had one bad game (and predictable as well). Lighten up. UO
Oregon State at California (+1.5)
Reality check? Cal played a great game, but they are merely a decent team. OSU has a shot at the Pac-10 title. OSU
Southern Miss at Cincinnati (-8)
USM is reeling right now. I really like the Bearcats. CINCY
Temple at MTSU (-3.5)
Sounds about right. Temple can’t beat anyone right now. MTSU
Tennessee at Auburn (Pick)
Auburn’s getting respect again. They found their offense against Western Kentucky, not even Kentucky. Tennessee is loaded. UT
Texas A&M at Texas Tech (+5)
Great offense versus great defense. I just don’t think Tech can hang. That Ole Miss game was a one-time thing. A&M
UAB at Memphis (-9)
I’m not even sure Memphis should be favored. Nine points? UAB
UNLV at Nevada (+5.5)
The Rebels are completely unpredictable. I think they overlook Nevada. NEVADA
*USC at Arizona State (+11.5)
ASU’s looked downright awful and now, USC is pissed. Cover your eyes. USC
Vanderbilt at Mississippi State (-4.5)
I know it’s Vandy, but MSU has looked completely inept. Teams on losing streaks spanning over 10 games don’t give points. VANDY
*Virginia at North Carolina (+7)
Schuab is back. UVA
Washington at UCLA (+1.5)
Is Washington over that first game beat down? I think so, but it’s no sure thing. WASH
*Wisconsin at Penn State (Pick)
No way. A pick? WISCONSIN
Air Force at Navy (+14)
Navy got blown out by Rutgers. That’s a generous line. AFA
Alabama at Georgia (-11)
Bama’s played everyone tough and lok like a hard team to blowout. Even for the Dawgs. BAMA
Arizona at Washington State (-27.5)
Arizona showed some life last week. They get booted back to reality here. WAZZU
Boise State at Louisiana Tech (+6.5)
Two great QB’s, lots of offense. Should be a fun game to watch and a real tough one to pick. Take Boise and pray. BSU
BYU at San Diego State (+1)
SDSU played great against Ohio St. But one game does not a season make. BYU
Clemson at Maryland (-6.5)
It’s becoming an annual thing in College Park. Lose early and then win out. MD
*Fresno State at Colorado State (-6.5)
People, CSU is 2-3. They have done nothing to justify six and half points over a good Fresno team. FSU
Illinois at Purdue (-14)
The Bowling Green loss doesn’t look so bad now, does it? PURDUE
Indiana at Michigan State (-15)
The Hoosiers are not very good. The Spartans should cover easily. MSU
Kansas State at Texas (-6)
I can’t abandon my preseason pick so easily. KSU
Michigan at Iowa (+3)
Interesting matchup. It’s time for Michigan to get serious about winning the big Ten. Their season isn’t over yet. MICH
Minnesota at Northwestern (+11)
Remember Northwestern’s brief rise as a Big Ten power? That was fun. Nice memories. MINN
*NC State at Georgia Tech (+6.5)
After a slow start, the Pack is clicking. Tech is not. NCSU
Oklahoma at Iowa State (-21)
The Sooners look like they are on a mission right now. OU
Ole Miss at Florida (-13)
Florida’s been unreliable, but not as unreliable as the Rebels. UF
Oregon at Utah (+2.5)
One game, people! The Ducks had one bad game (and predictable as well). Lighten up. UO
Oregon State at California (+1.5)
Reality check? Cal played a great game, but they are merely a decent team. OSU has a shot at the Pac-10 title. OSU
Southern Miss at Cincinnati (-8)
USM is reeling right now. I really like the Bearcats. CINCY
Temple at MTSU (-3.5)
Sounds about right. Temple can’t beat anyone right now. MTSU
Tennessee at Auburn (Pick)
Auburn’s getting respect again. They found their offense against Western Kentucky, not even Kentucky. Tennessee is loaded. UT
Texas A&M at Texas Tech (+5)
Great offense versus great defense. I just don’t think Tech can hang. That Ole Miss game was a one-time thing. A&M
UAB at Memphis (-9)
I’m not even sure Memphis should be favored. Nine points? UAB
UNLV at Nevada (+5.5)
The Rebels are completely unpredictable. I think they overlook Nevada. NEVADA
*USC at Arizona State (+11.5)
ASU’s looked downright awful and now, USC is pissed. Cover your eyes. USC
Vanderbilt at Mississippi State (-4.5)
I know it’s Vandy, but MSU has looked completely inept. Teams on losing streaks spanning over 10 games don’t give points. VANDY
*Virginia at North Carolina (+7)
Schuab is back. UVA
Washington at UCLA (+1.5)
Is Washington over that first game beat down? I think so, but it’s no sure thing. WASH
*Wisconsin at Penn State (Pick)
No way. A pick? WISCONSIN
