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Where we try and help you win some coin. But remember kids, gambling is wrong. We would never actually bet real money (wink, wink)
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
The good Father gets top billing this week!
I knew if we put a disclaimer on our column that some neo-cons would get in an wreck the karma. We “juiced” last Saturday, going 3-3. Dull Saturday this week—no real liberal vs. kookservative holy wars. So we are resigned to going to straight-up football handicapping. Buyers beware: go light this weekend. Let's try anyway...
Minnesota -1 vs. Michigan. Are you kidding me? Fr. 'Shroom's alma mater a FAVORITE vs. Michigan? That hasn't happened since Bobby Kennedy played for Harvard! The world will be on Michigan on this one, so what do we do? Why, we take Minnesota! Final from the Metrodome Friday night: Minnesota 40 Michigan 36.
Oklahoma State +2.5 vs. Kansas State. My buddy Bill “losing is worse than having a child die” Snyder and is Wildcats again. This time, they will be on the receiving end of my Upset Special for the week. Okie State is a good club, and I like them at home against an overrated, yawn-inducing Kansas State. Final: Oklahoma State 29 Kansas State 27 (remember, you’re GETTING 2.5 points with Oklahoma St.)
Mississippi –25.5 vs. Arkansas State. Mississippi? YES! Let’s not forget the literary tradition of the South; next to pecan pie, it is the South’s greatest legacy. (ed note- And please, a message to everyone above the Mason-Dixon Line, stop mispronouncing pecan, it hurts our ears. It's "pe-cahn" not "pee-can". Sorry, pet peeve. Right up there with Biloxi. It's pronounced "Biluxee" okay?) Ole Miss went into Florida and stole one. If the line drops to less than 24, get all over it. Twenty-five and a half is dicey, but I like Ole Miss to continue to roll, and a midseason slouch is perfect after a big road win. No letdown here: Ole Miss 50, Arkansas State 9.
Texas +6.5 vs. Oklahoma at Dallas. Yes, Texas let us down last week, but watch them bounce back. Huge rivalry and playing in “Big D” will fire up the crowd even more. Apologies to Bart on this one, but I like Texas to cover that spread and maybe even win the game outright. Final from St. Landry’s Hall: Texas 24, Oklahoma 21.
Texas Tech –16 vs. Iowa State. Iowa is one of the good Father’s favorite states. He has often been in a state of intoxication in that state, as a matter of fact! Ames isn’t as much fun as Iowa City, but I digress. ISU really disappointing this year, and Tech looks good. Final: Texas Tech 35 Iowa State 12.
UCLA –17 at Arizona. “Are you crazy, Fr. Mushroom?” you might ask. Yes, but that’s beside the point. UCLA has made a great turnaround since getting rid of those jerseys with the ugly numbers and going back to something more traditional. I am a uniform junkie, and I HATED those numbers. Oops, more digressing. Anyway, AZ sends Mack Brown packing, but it makes no difference. Arizona’s morale is lower than Rush’s this week, and they continue to go down a path of destruction, much like, say, a radio host popping Lorcet, Oxycontin, and Vicodin like they are Raisinets. Final from the desert: UCLA 44 Arizona 20.
Boy, what a dull column. What a dull week. But if dull gets us to 6-0, who cares! Peace to all of you.
Fr. Mushroom.
I knew if we put a disclaimer on our column that some neo-cons would get in an wreck the karma. We “juiced” last Saturday, going 3-3. Dull Saturday this week—no real liberal vs. kookservative holy wars. So we are resigned to going to straight-up football handicapping. Buyers beware: go light this weekend. Let's try anyway...
Minnesota -1 vs. Michigan. Are you kidding me? Fr. 'Shroom's alma mater a FAVORITE vs. Michigan? That hasn't happened since Bobby Kennedy played for Harvard! The world will be on Michigan on this one, so what do we do? Why, we take Minnesota! Final from the Metrodome Friday night: Minnesota 40 Michigan 36.
Oklahoma State +2.5 vs. Kansas State. My buddy Bill “losing is worse than having a child die” Snyder and is Wildcats again. This time, they will be on the receiving end of my Upset Special for the week. Okie State is a good club, and I like them at home against an overrated, yawn-inducing Kansas State. Final: Oklahoma State 29 Kansas State 27 (remember, you’re GETTING 2.5 points with Oklahoma St.)
Mississippi –25.5 vs. Arkansas State. Mississippi? YES! Let’s not forget the literary tradition of the South; next to pecan pie, it is the South’s greatest legacy. (ed note- And please, a message to everyone above the Mason-Dixon Line, stop mispronouncing pecan, it hurts our ears. It's "pe-cahn" not "pee-can". Sorry, pet peeve. Right up there with Biloxi. It's pronounced "Biluxee" okay?) Ole Miss went into Florida and stole one. If the line drops to less than 24, get all over it. Twenty-five and a half is dicey, but I like Ole Miss to continue to roll, and a midseason slouch is perfect after a big road win. No letdown here: Ole Miss 50, Arkansas State 9.
Texas +6.5 vs. Oklahoma at Dallas. Yes, Texas let us down last week, but watch them bounce back. Huge rivalry and playing in “Big D” will fire up the crowd even more. Apologies to Bart on this one, but I like Texas to cover that spread and maybe even win the game outright. Final from St. Landry’s Hall: Texas 24, Oklahoma 21.
Texas Tech –16 vs. Iowa State. Iowa is one of the good Father’s favorite states. He has often been in a state of intoxication in that state, as a matter of fact! Ames isn’t as much fun as Iowa City, but I digress. ISU really disappointing this year, and Tech looks good. Final: Texas Tech 35 Iowa State 12.
UCLA –17 at Arizona. “Are you crazy, Fr. Mushroom?” you might ask. Yes, but that’s beside the point. UCLA has made a great turnaround since getting rid of those jerseys with the ugly numbers and going back to something more traditional. I am a uniform junkie, and I HATED those numbers. Oops, more digressing. Anyway, AZ sends Mack Brown packing, but it makes no difference. Arizona’s morale is lower than Rush’s this week, and they continue to go down a path of destruction, much like, say, a radio host popping Lorcet, Oxycontin, and Vicodin like they are Raisinets. Final from the desert: UCLA 44 Arizona 20.
Boy, what a dull column. What a dull week. But if dull gets us to 6-0, who cares! Peace to all of you.
Fr. Mushroom.
Some college picks...
Auburn at Arkansas (-5.5)
The Hogs have played well, but Auburn has been quietly licking their wounds and gearing up to jump back in the SEC race. They do that here. AUBURN
Boston College at Temple (+10)
Neither team impresses the hell out of anyone, but one isn’t Temple. BC
Bowling Green at Western Michigan (+9.5)
I like BGSU as well, and I’m on the bandwagon for them to win the MAC (yes, even over Northern Illinois), but that’s a lot of points to give to a team that has played everybody close. WMU
Colorado State at BYU BYU -2
I’m so mad at CSU right now. I finally give up on them and they go out and paste Fresno. Well, this one’s just for spite. BYU
Connecticut at NC State (-16)
It’s time to start criticizing Chuck Amato for some of the Wolfpack’s mental lapses. I think they sleepwalk through this game. UCONN
Duke at Maryland (-27)
Duke plays a ball-control style offense. So does Maryland. We may not see 27 points total. DUKE
*Florida at LSU (-10)
After the game, fireronzook.com will announce they are going public. LSU
Georgia at Tennessee (+2)
This is a huge game, as both of these teams have dropped a game to a team out west. The winner is probably going to go to the SEC championship game. Georgia’s finally healthy and should win this one. UGA
Georgia Tech at Wake Forest (-4.5)
I feel like I should give Jim Grobe a cut. WAKE
Houston at Tulane (-2)
Both teams have played surprisingly well, but I think Houston’s turnaround is more legitimate. UH
Iowa State at Texas Tech (-16)
I’ve seen nothing from the Cyclones that leads me to believe they can cover. Tech is rolling right now. TT
Kansas at Colorado (-6.5)
The bottom has fallen out of Colorado’s once promising season. I really like Whittemore as the Jayhawks QB, and I think he’s got another upset up his sleeve. KANSAS
Kansas State at Oklahoma State (+2.5)
Two of the biggest disappointments square off. I’m going down with the ship. KSU
Kent State at Marshall (-19.5)
Kent’s certainly got the ability to pull the upset. I don’t think they will, but their offense will score enough to make it look close. KENT
Kentucky at South Carolina (-8)
USC got blown out by Georgia, but other than that, they’ve been a very tough team. USC
Memphis at Mississippi State (-5)
Memphis is looking for the Mississippi state title. Memphis isn’t that great of a team, but MSU is simply awful. MEMPHIS
*Miami at Florida State (-7)
Maybe the game of the year, and the spread is seven points? I like FSU to win this one because Miami just hasn’t shown that killer instinct, but 7 points seems rather generous. MIAMI
*Michigan at Minnesota (-1)
Who have the Gophers beaten? They are unbeaten but completely untested. MICHIGAN
*Michigan State at Illinois (+3.5)
Illinois is flat out terrible. MSU
Navy at Vanderbilt (-5)
Navy has actually played fairly decent football. Fairly decent should be enough to beat Vandy. NAVY
Nebraska at Missouri (+7)
I’m not sold on the Huskers just yet, and I think the Tigers will be motivated after the loss to Kansas. This one just screams upset. MIZZOU
North Carolina at East Carolina (+8)
UNC is favored. That should set off warning bells there. ECU
Northwestern at Indiana (+3.5)
In the battle of the basement, take the home dog. IU
Notre Dame at Pittsburgh (-9.5)
The Panthers could conceivably win this one by 20. Their penchant for overlooking opponents shouldn’t be a problem against the down-and-out Irish. PITT
Ohio State at Wisconsin (+2.5)
Believe it or not, this is the Buckeyes first road game of the season, and Camp Randall is a tough place to play. The Badgers have been flaky, but they are also talented and should be focused. I like the Badgers to finally knock off OSU. WIS
Oklahoma vs. Texas (+6.5)
Until they give me a reason to doubt them, I’m picking OU all the way. They have looked like the best team in the nation now that they have an offense. OU
Oregon at Arizona State (+2.5)
This is the Sun Devils chance to at least recoup a little of their season. Things are petering out in Oregon as well, so this should be a fairly underwhelming game. ASU
Penn State at Purdue (-11.5)
Penn St has played teams close before collapsing. Expect more of the same. PSU
Rutgers at West Virginia (-17)
I’m not comfortable giving 17 points with West Virginia, even if it is Rutgers. RUTGERS
Syracuse at Virginia Tech (-18)
VT is rolling right now. VT
TCU at South Florida (Pick)
The Frogs are unbeaten, but not very impressive. I think they hold out for another week or so, but the fact they have no points against South Florida shows that nobody believes they are for real. TCU
*UCLA at Arizona (+17)
You are aware Arizona sucks? UCLA
Auburn at Arkansas (-5.5)
The Hogs have played well, but Auburn has been quietly licking their wounds and gearing up to jump back in the SEC race. They do that here. AUBURN
Boston College at Temple (+10)
Neither team impresses the hell out of anyone, but one isn’t Temple. BC
Bowling Green at Western Michigan (+9.5)
I like BGSU as well, and I’m on the bandwagon for them to win the MAC (yes, even over Northern Illinois), but that’s a lot of points to give to a team that has played everybody close. WMU
Colorado State at BYU BYU -2
I’m so mad at CSU right now. I finally give up on them and they go out and paste Fresno. Well, this one’s just for spite. BYU
Connecticut at NC State (-16)
It’s time to start criticizing Chuck Amato for some of the Wolfpack’s mental lapses. I think they sleepwalk through this game. UCONN
Duke at Maryland (-27)
Duke plays a ball-control style offense. So does Maryland. We may not see 27 points total. DUKE
*Florida at LSU (-10)
After the game, fireronzook.com will announce they are going public. LSU
Georgia at Tennessee (+2)
This is a huge game, as both of these teams have dropped a game to a team out west. The winner is probably going to go to the SEC championship game. Georgia’s finally healthy and should win this one. UGA
Georgia Tech at Wake Forest (-4.5)
I feel like I should give Jim Grobe a cut. WAKE
Houston at Tulane (-2)
Both teams have played surprisingly well, but I think Houston’s turnaround is more legitimate. UH
Iowa State at Texas Tech (-16)
I’ve seen nothing from the Cyclones that leads me to believe they can cover. Tech is rolling right now. TT
Kansas at Colorado (-6.5)
The bottom has fallen out of Colorado’s once promising season. I really like Whittemore as the Jayhawks QB, and I think he’s got another upset up his sleeve. KANSAS
Kansas State at Oklahoma State (+2.5)
Two of the biggest disappointments square off. I’m going down with the ship. KSU
Kent State at Marshall (-19.5)
Kent’s certainly got the ability to pull the upset. I don’t think they will, but their offense will score enough to make it look close. KENT
Kentucky at South Carolina (-8)
USC got blown out by Georgia, but other than that, they’ve been a very tough team. USC
Memphis at Mississippi State (-5)
Memphis is looking for the Mississippi state title. Memphis isn’t that great of a team, but MSU is simply awful. MEMPHIS
*Miami at Florida State (-7)
Maybe the game of the year, and the spread is seven points? I like FSU to win this one because Miami just hasn’t shown that killer instinct, but 7 points seems rather generous. MIAMI
*Michigan at Minnesota (-1)
Who have the Gophers beaten? They are unbeaten but completely untested. MICHIGAN
*Michigan State at Illinois (+3.5)
Illinois is flat out terrible. MSU
Navy at Vanderbilt (-5)
Navy has actually played fairly decent football. Fairly decent should be enough to beat Vandy. NAVY
Nebraska at Missouri (+7)
I’m not sold on the Huskers just yet, and I think the Tigers will be motivated after the loss to Kansas. This one just screams upset. MIZZOU
North Carolina at East Carolina (+8)
UNC is favored. That should set off warning bells there. ECU
Northwestern at Indiana (+3.5)
In the battle of the basement, take the home dog. IU
Notre Dame at Pittsburgh (-9.5)
The Panthers could conceivably win this one by 20. Their penchant for overlooking opponents shouldn’t be a problem against the down-and-out Irish. PITT
Ohio State at Wisconsin (+2.5)
Believe it or not, this is the Buckeyes first road game of the season, and Camp Randall is a tough place to play. The Badgers have been flaky, but they are also talented and should be focused. I like the Badgers to finally knock off OSU. WIS
Oklahoma vs. Texas (+6.5)
Until they give me a reason to doubt them, I’m picking OU all the way. They have looked like the best team in the nation now that they have an offense. OU
Oregon at Arizona State (+2.5)
This is the Sun Devils chance to at least recoup a little of their season. Things are petering out in Oregon as well, so this should be a fairly underwhelming game. ASU
Penn State at Purdue (-11.5)
Penn St has played teams close before collapsing. Expect more of the same. PSU
Rutgers at West Virginia (-17)
I’m not comfortable giving 17 points with West Virginia, even if it is Rutgers. RUTGERS
Syracuse at Virginia Tech (-18)
VT is rolling right now. VT
TCU at South Florida (Pick)
The Frogs are unbeaten, but not very impressive. I think they hold out for another week or so, but the fact they have no points against South Florida shows that nobody believes they are for real. TCU
*UCLA at Arizona (+17)
You are aware Arizona sucks? UCLA
